i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
