you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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