mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
