Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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