I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
