I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
