He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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