I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
