I'm drive I can fine osifer
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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