If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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