I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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