So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
