I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
