She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
