Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
