he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
