I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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