i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
