By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
