OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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