Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
