He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
