So drunk its hurt
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
