Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
