Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
