was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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