It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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