he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
