She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
