Well douche your snatch and let's go!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
