Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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