ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
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We just shotgunned beers for America
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
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And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize