I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
