She's JV to your varsity
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
