so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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