Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
