i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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