pop tarts are not kleenex
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
