Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
