I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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