WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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