He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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