I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
