Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
