So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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