This girl is more easily done than said...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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