Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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