The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
