i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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