My first STD was from a foam party
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize