I'm drive I can fine osifer
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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