Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
