Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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