I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
