I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
