Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
