To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
FUCK WHALES
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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