I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
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Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
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i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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