Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
