hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The uberlube is also flammable
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
