btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
