i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
