morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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