He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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