So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
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I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
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I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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